• [I]f you kill a girl through abuse, she will no longer be your girlfriend.

• The main reason to date a girl ... is to get stuff from her.

• If you raise your relationship level with a girl to 100% you'll be given a special outfit.

• You can date more than one girl at once, and as far as I know, your other girlfriends won't mind if you pick up another.

• The easiest way ... is to get into a car, and then quickly drive away before your girlfriend can get in.

• [I]f you're going to kiss a girl, give her a gift first.

• Don't worry if you go to the same place every time, she doesn't mind.

• Fill the fun bar all the way to the top and keep it there for a few seconds to have a successful date.

• Every type of date can end with an invitation into the girl's house for "coffee."

• If you let her shoot you until you die, your relationship with her will go up by 10%.

• Note that although Barbara is a law enforcement official, she won't care if you commit crimes around her.

• Dildos are large, floppy, and pink. They are fun to hit people with, and they make a great gift.

• The vibrator looks like a large silver bullet. You can stab people with it, or you can give it to one of your girlfriends.

• I'm not sure the exact conditions required to get dumped by a girl, but it can definitely happen.

• Katie lies all the time.

[McSweeneys Internet Tendency]

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