I call Bullshit on ZuneX

Written by Mark Peachey

Tuesday, 19 May 2009 19:41

At the risk of putting my foot so far down my mouth I nearly choke, I'm going to call bullshit on the ZuneX rumours now circling the internets. For more pics, head on over to teamxbox.com from whom I've graciously ripped the pics who graciously ripped the pics from mimbee.tv (don't bother: it's ze Germans).

Behold the future of portable gaming! Or not.

For one, if this is actually real, then it is bar-none the fugliest thing I've ever seen. A cross between the Atari Lynx and a chalkboard, the "ZuneX" (If that is your real name!) is a design disaster worthy of its own reality TV show. But lying in this mock-up are the seeds for the faker's own destruction: the control pad. You see, there's a reason the Xbox direction pad sucks arse: it's because Sony and Nintendo own the patents on better directional pad technology. Notice the shocking similarity of the above noted pad to Sony's controllers? If you have, then you may have naturally asked how Microsoft could do this without patent infringement. The answer is they can't, because this is a fake.

Read on...

Perhaps more damning is the spec sheet above. Notice under "Compatibility" the inclusion of "OnLive Ready (Game Streaming)"? Yeah, that strikes me as completely implausible as well, given that the service isn't even due to launch this year. Moreover, this unholy marriage would likely undercut completely Microsoft's established business model of physical copies in hand and/or downloadable gaming content. If Microsoft were to entertain cloud-based gaming, they'd likely just create their own service, OnLive be damned.

Now just in case all of this is true, here's the obligatory "Covering My Ass" statement: Anything is possible, even if it's this giant turd.

Comments (7) Add Comment

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written by Daniel Lloyd, May 20, 2009

i'll jump on board the Bullshit Train. if this thing is real, we'll go down together.

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written by Mark Peachey, May 20, 2009

Booyah.

And if we're wrong, we can still make fun of how ugly it is.

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written by Marissa Meli, May 20, 2009

One more ticket, please.

Whoever did this needs a Photoshop class.

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written by Marc DeAngelis, May 20, 2009

"Sony and Nintendo own the patents on better directional pad technology."

The first thing that came to mind was "they would never use that d-pad because Sony would sue them."

Nintendo has the patent for the + shape and Sony has one for the four-piece one like on this brick.

I want a GP32.

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written by Utopaline, May 20, 2009

BS train for sure, I know they are working on something. (hinted last year at X08, about the ONLY thing I could drag out of the zune "expert" HUGE C U Next Tuesday she was). No way it's anywhere near this thing. But it wail arrive. I'm guessing more along hte lines of the ZuneHD with all touch. And I've heard a rumor and you've heard a rumor and my granny heard one too, but util it's released, or officially announced, I can BS too.

Uto