Sure, I've had my fair share of controversy when it comes to the industry. It's no secret that I've had issues with violent games and their effect on children. I was in support of federal game regulation. What can I say? I was afraid for my little girl.

I've since reexamined the issue and I can tell you that I will fight for the issues that you deem important! I've changed my stance on plenty of issues and it's only with TRUE change (not like the change that Obama claims to bring - how many times has he changed his mind on the issues?) that our country will be able to pick itself up. Isn't it about time we had some real change for a change?

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Is she admitting she was wrong? Is that what she's always going to do when she becomes President? Is she going to be weak?" I've never said I was wrong. I just said that I've 'reexamined' the issue. That's a completely different thing. How so? Elect me President and I'll tell you.

Did I ever tell you the time when all of the Democratic candidates were at a local Pizza Hut for a photo op? While we were waiting for the photographer to get there, we decided to have a friendly game of Ms. Pac-Man. I was up first, of course, and I dominated the first field. Barack was up next and I guess he wasn't doing so good. That's when I heard him say that he hated Ms. Pac-Man. He accidentally got gobbled up by a ghost while going through the opening on the right side of the field and he hit the machine and, I sh*t you not, screamed, "I hate this game!" That's when I knew that he wasn't going to be on your side.

That's when I knew he hated video games.

Video game players of the United States - I ask you, in this time, to consider who you want to be your President: A very strong woman who can rank up a high score on Mappy? Or a weak man who can't even get the extra ship in Galaga?

*make all checks payable to Hillary Clinton for President

ahem... Satire: n. - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (i.e. it's a joke)

Comments (3)

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written by genz0, February 23, 2008

Haha, very good. With all the presidential bullshit going on right now and the whole obama hates videogames [for realz] being written everywhere, it's good to see satire like this.

It would be a lot funnier if you took out the glaring hint that this is satire. Good nonetheless.

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written by Dan Zuccarelli, February 23, 2008

The reason we include the satire line is so people don't confuse it. Since we're primarily a news site, we don't want people to doubt any of the regular stories.

We've seen it happen on other sites

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written by Nathan Smart, February 23, 2008

TOLD YOU DAN!!!!

but seriously, I think the "I sh*t you not" line pretty much tips it off..

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