The Game Rag: Grand Theft Auto Release Sparks Rise In Grand Theft Autos

Written by TheBBPS

Friday, 02 May 2008 11:26

Motor vehicle theft has been on the rise in America as many videogame players are stuck inside playing the newly released Grand Theft Auto IV (GTAIV) for the Xbox 360 and the PS3.

"I've been playing since [Tuesday] and so I haven't had a chance to leave the house," said Flim Rednose, a local retail manager. "So, today I went out to get some Wendy's and realized that my car had been stolen."

Police are blaming videogames, once again, for the rise in car thefts around the country. According to Cpt. Earl Mergot, a policeman in Newcastle, PA, car thieves have been stealing the cars of videogame players who are addicted to the non-linear gameplay of GTAIV. Players are inside while their cars are getting stolen outside.

"They need to freakin' leave the house and do something with their lives. Meanwhile, crime is thriving in the streets, and these guys are inside playing videogames. It's a shame."

Rednose said he's never had this problem before and he's had plenty of videogame playing binges in his life.

"This is the first time where a game I've been playing for a while has actually crept into my real life. Oh, except for that time my Swift Palomino was stolen while I was playing WoW."

ahem... Satire: n. - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (i.e. it's a joke)

Comments (14) Add Comment

...
written by Miles Moore, May 02, 2008

Suprise suprise! Another news story about how video games cause every single problem in life. I'm getting sick of this crap. I've played GTA IV all week long (I work from home) so I haven't really left the house other than to exersize and take a nice walk every day. But my life isn't falling apart and my car didn't get stolen.

At least I get to fly out to california and go to my cousin's wedding this weekend and ride my motorcycle back to Denver on Monday....who knows, maybe I'll jack some other bike and leave mine crashed on the side of the road since I've been playing GTA IV all week long.

...
written by Swiftwulf, May 02, 2008

It's satire...

...
written by Johnny Wadd, May 02, 2008

GTA responsible for rise in car theft, now that's a fucking stretch.

...
written by Xerxes3rd, May 02, 2008

Satire: n. - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (i.e. it’s a joke)

JOKE

Please, read the entire article, not just the headline.

...
written by Xerxes3rd, May 02, 2008

P.S.- I love the line about the Swift Palomino. My Dreadsteed is safe in my garage.

...
written by Swiftwulf, May 02, 2008

I've been to Newcastle before. Can't say I'd want to live there though, not that its full of crime or anything, just seems to be not a very financially sound area.

...
written by Nigel, May 03, 2008

This is such uneducated bullshit. Bad parenting and lack of intelligence and morals is the cause for crime, not video games.

...
written by Muffin Man, May 03, 2008

TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT

...
written by Dan Zuccarelli, May 04, 2008

Shall I put it in the headline that this is SATIRE, or just leave it be?

I think it's Nathan's best hit yet!

...
written by Ryan Hewson, May 05, 2008

Wow, a few people with busted sarcasm meters in here...

Car theft in North America has gone down every single year since GTA3 first appeared, everyone knows that.