Time Warner - Stealing My Childhood
Written by Daniel Lloyd   
Monday, 26 January 2009 10:30
In my area of Brooklyn, Time Warner Cable is the only ISP I can get.  So there's no real need for them to advertise to me, because like it or not, I'm stuck with them.  Honestly, I don't have a problem with their service.  It works, and I use it, so all is well.  I don't have cable television in my apartment, I just watch everything online, so I was shocked when I saw one of their recent commercials on the television in Texas, where I've spent the past weekend.

There are two things wrong with this.  First off, this "SATELLITE DOESN'T.  TIME WARNER CABLE DOES," tagline.  Why does that sound so familiar?  Oh I know!  It reminds me of "GENESIS DOES WHAT NINTENDON'T."  A slogan I love, even though I'm a Nintendo fanboy, and write it on every stickie note and dry erase board I can, when given the opportunity.  When Sega did it, it was ballsy, in your face, and almost taboo to call out Nintendo by name,  Time Warner's attempt, to me, is just a rip off of Sega's, so that "edge" doesn't come into play.  Also, I highly doubt Time Warner Cable has blast processing.

Now secondly, who's that guy talking about all the puppy hatred?  Mike O'Malley, the phenomenal host of the greatest kid's athletic game show ever?  That's right, GUTS alum O'Malley is now holding puppies and schlepping for ol' TWC.  Where's Mo?  What's the time to beat?  Where are the nuclear flying crystals raining down from atop the radical rock, the Aggrocrag? nickelodeon-guts Spill your guts Mike.  Time Warner has taken two near and dear things close to my heart, and used them to sell television.  Television I don't even use, but if I chose to, would have no other option than Time Warner.

This may just be a side effect of my jet lag and sleepy/grumpy mood, but this commercial ruffled two more feathers than it should have.  Sort of like when I hear "Everyday Is Like Sunday" being used in NFL commercials.  I doubt Morrissey would approve of this, but who knows?  How do you guys feel about "selling out," or something like that?  Sure, Mario has sold cereals and happy meals, but I'm somehow okay with that.  I guess I just get the feeling that a big corporation is jumping on a meme and taking advantage of it....except, it's my personal meme.  You can't do this on Nintendo.


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Comments (3)Add Comment
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written by Bryce, January 27, 2009
As much as I love how you reported on old video game commercials, but dude. I think it is the jet lag.

Companies have been doing the whole "our does, they don't" thing for...ever. Infomercials do this all the time.

"SHAM-WOW! Sham-wow does what paper towels can't!"

Are you following me, Daniel Lloyd?

smilies/smiley.gif
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written by Daniel Lloyd, January 27, 2009
well put. i guess in my mind, Genesis did it first.
haha
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written by Dan Zuccarelli, January 27, 2009
Did it first and best!

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