I took a chance. I figured the game would be average. But this game isn’t just ‘meh’, it’s downright BAD.

What’s wrong with the game?
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  • Idiotic AI
  • Unfinished graphics and ugly textures
  • Lighted areas too bright
  • Dark areas too black
  • No lock-on
  • No jumping
  • No radar or onscreen notification of enemies
  • Cheap deaths
  • Horrendous voice-acting
  • Cumbersome system for casting spells
  • Camera angle too low to the ground
  • Floating brains
  • Bosses with huge pulsating weak points
  • Invisible and visible barriers all over the place

That’s a start.

bw02.jpgSo let’s break it down. It’s hard to understand how bad the AI is, but enemies will just stand there as you shoot them if you’re far enough away. Or they’ll run into walls and just stay there. The graphics are unrefined and sometimes downright ugly. The shadows especially look like they’re having a seizure every time you move, which is quite a pain in the ass since the game is so dark.

The lack of lock-on (and slow turning) seem to exist only to artificially make the game harder. It might be alright if the aiming had a more delicate touch, but it’s clunky. 3rd person games almost need some sort of lock-on system, since you’re swinging the camera and moving yourself at the same time, so you could at any moment be looking in any direction.

The game’s lighting also works against the player. The lighted areas cast this weird bright light aff the ground right to the side of your feet, which felt like a sunspot while trying to play. At one point I actually held my foot in the way of it to help me see. Conversly, in the dark areas you can’t see an enemy right in front of you. Of course since there’s no on screen way to see enemies, you pretty much have to wait until they start shooting to see where they are.

Personally, the lack of jumping in a game is just laziness on the developers part. Unless you’ve replaced it with something functional, there’s no damn reason in 2007 that my character shouldn’t be able to leave the goddamn ground. I can’t tell you how pissed off it gets me when there’s a small ledge ahead of me but I have to take the LONG way around cause this chick can’t jump. It’s lazy.

Invisible barriers pop-up only to stop the player from moving on and dealing with some unforseen circumstance. Turn a corner, bang red-barrier in your way. Find the floating brain with the red aura and kill it. Yellow barrier, find yellow-aura floating brain. So on and so forth.

The spell casting is also difficult, needing to work multiple menus while the game continues to play. Many times I was killed trying to position myself and cast the spell. It never works well and after a few minutes I just gave up trying to use the spells at all.

bw03.jpgAlot of the other problems appear in a good number of games, but they don’t bother us so much because the gameplay and mechanics are tight enough that we just kind of take it with a grain of salt. But since Bullet Witch doesn’t have gameplay or mechanics going for it, the shitty dialogue and voice-acting just grate the nerves even more than usual.

No Multiplayer of any sort, and lame achievements (beat level 1, beat level 2, beat level 3, etc…) round out the package and confirm the laziness of those involved. I could go on and on but I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

This Game Sucks!The only things the game really does well is the gun and a few of the spells. Unlimited ammo, cool power-ups and it just looks bad ass.

The “will power” ability to throw cars around is also pretty cool. Outside of that, this game is a total disaster. If you read this and still buy the game, you deserve to have a shitty time trying to play it.

I feel robbed. 2 out of 10