Before we sit down and play GTA IV, which you just got from GameFly, it’s important to note that I have an extreme tendency towards murdering someone.

I know that this game is really fun and it has a lot of cool stuff you can do but you should really be aware that I have been wanting to know what it feels like to kill someone for a long time now. I’m not exactly sure what will push me over the edge so just be careful before you turn on that PS3

You’ve known me for a while now but I’ve never mentioned this tendency. You know that I love video games that let you shoot people but of course that doesn’t mean anything because tons of people like those types of games. But, just so you know, I’ve been looking at a lot of stuff on the net lately and the urge is probably at an all time high - just something to think about before you show me how to kill that hooker.

Also, one last thing - while I’ve made it clear that I have this urge, I haven’t said anything about the type of person I’ve been wanting to kill. I don’t want you get scared or anything but just know that my urge to kill someone isn’t really a respecter of person.

So, to recap, before you turn on that video game system and let me play this very violent game think of these three things:

1. I have an extreme tendency towards murdering someone.
2. The urge has been pretty high lately, almost as if to be on the edge.
3. While I have not decided on the type of person to kill, it seems as if anyone will satisfy my hunger.

Okay, let’s play!

ahem… Satire: n. - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. (i.e. it’s a joke)