Some people have been complaining about the lack of narrative in Valve’s absolutely brilliant Left 4 Dead. First, that’s a bunch of crazy talk. I’m not saying there is a deep narrative there I’m just saying that you don’t need to know more than there’s a bunch of zombies that are trying to eat you so don’t fucking die. You probably shouldn’t go off by yourself either. That Bill…he’s a weird fella.

On this week’s BitCast you can listen to me verbally SPOOGE all over this demo or you can go back and read how I can verbosely SPOOGE all up in it. Now you can see for yourself what I’m so hot and bothered over since you can now download the demo on both the PC and the 360. DO IT NOW and meet me on Steam or on Live and we’ll blow the heads off some friggin’ zombies together.

Why use one word to describe something when you can use two? Seems like corporate culture at it’s finest! Instead of saying we’re opening an online store to sell you virtual stuff to put on your virtual dude, they say they’ll be providing “wardrobe enhancements.”

Robin Burrowes, Europe, the Middle East and Africa (EMEA) product manager for Xbox LIVE says:

“Yes, more animations, more customise capabilities in terms of emotions and features but then also as well wardrobe enhancements over the course of time, so fashion brands hopefully launching new ranges through Avatars being one route. Obviously the whole world of Spore, football, etc, lends itself to this environment. Games themselves where you can customise your Avatar like the character from a game as well, these are all possibilities that Avatars will explore over the course of 2009 and beyond, definitely.”

Hole doublespeak Batman! Try it out for yourself it’s really fun to just add extra words on when describing things to people. For instance, I could say that the new NXE looks like “shit” or reference it as being “enhanced experienced fecal matter.” See, it’s fun!

On a side note, it’s totally true that Microsoft plans on opening an Avatar store to sell stupid people stupid crap for their stupid Avatars. Anyone that didn’t see this coming a mile away is…. well…. stupid.

[Videogamer]

I know this news is a couple of days old but it’s still worth noting since those of you who have been around a while might have noticed that Dan and I have a slightly disturbing little fascination with this series, despite never having played it. After announcing that there’s a Wii version heading stateside (which had immediately cemented my need for a Wii) they snuck in a North American Xbox 360 release, Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad. Here’s the feature list directly from D3’s site:

* Control Two Super Sexy Sisters and Their Sword Swinging Samurai Skills – Master sword swinging martial arts at their finest on the ground and in the air, slashing, swinging and thrusting into zombie enemy hordes.

* Exclusive Dress-Up Mode – Go behind the scenes to expose the hottest samurai wardrobe on the planet. Unlock an arsenal of customized clothing and looks to maximize and personalize the Onechanbara experience.

* Go Deep Inside Aya, Saki, and the Legend of Onechanbara in Multiple Gameplay Modes – In addition to the main Story Mode, players can experience the game in Free Play Mode, Survival Mode, Quest Mode and more to let gamers dive deeper into the Onechanbara experience.

* Killer Combat Control System – Each character has a variety of moves, weapons, and throws to combat enemies on the ground and in the air, and can unleash killer Rage Mode attacks when desperate and surrounded.

* Co-op Multiplayer – Invite a friend to join in the fight with Co-Op mode and try unique fighting styles together to rid the world of zombie infestation.

Dress up mode? “Go deep inside Aya AND Saki”? Sign me the fuck up.

I’ll be in my bunk…

After the world was turned over three weeks ago and the PS3 version of Burnout Paradise was updated with Cagney the first of the major free updates to this already stellar game hits the 360. Now no matter which version you’re playing you’re getting an even better game, for free.

Three cheers for Criterion, one of our most under appreciated developers.

[Major Nelson] but hit the jump for the full details from Criterion’s site as they were listed for the PS3. Continue Reading »

So by now we’ve all heard about 360’s “Summer of Arcade,” which really means we’re going to have a kick-ass August in the XBLA department.

But just in case you forgot what you were in for with Castle Crashers, here’s some gameplay to remind you of why you should be looking forward to it.

OK, so I’ve got some potentially good news and I’ve got some potentially bad news for you, what do you want to know first?

The good news? OK!

Valve’s Doug Lombardi was interviewed in OXM UK recently and mentioned the desire to bring some of their older titles like the original Half-Life and Counter-Strike to the 360 as downloads now that Portal is on its way.

“We’ll certainly consider [bringing old games like Counter-Strike to XBLA],” Lombardi told OXM UK. “If you look at what we’ve done on Steam, we try to make all our games available and we’re always reviewing the prices to keep them current. We’d love to do that, but this is our first step at doing that beyond the PC.”

Ready for the bad news? When he was asked about the PC Team Fortress 2 updates coming to the 360 he mentioned that they’re still trying to work out pricing. Now, I don’t think you should read that as “We’re going to charge you for the stuff PC users get free” but we all know how Microsoft is by now.

[OXM UK via Shacknews]